On Swine Flu

Chris Phillips: "Have you eaten pork lately?"
Alejandro: "Yep."
CP: "Have you come into contact with a Mexican recently?"
A: "Yes."
CP: "Have you coughed in the last 72 hours?"
A: "Yep."
CP: "Goodbye dear friend."
.......

CP: "You should at least burn your body to prevent spreading it. As for me? I'm going to keep wearing this super effective dust mask. And continue downing full tubes of the not-at-all morbidly named 'Airborne'.

Also. I'm going to start praying... And stop masturbating. Because the only salvation is God's love.

And God only loves you, if you stop touching yourself.

And not Mexican."